By A Practicing Homosexual
Let me start off by stating this: I cannot stand gay culture. I loathe, detest, abhor, vilify and am sickened by it.
I was in London this weekend, having a great time shopping and catching up with the legendary Tim O'Shea. We were walking through Soho and my blood just began to boil. Soho's totally cool I might add, my favourite place on the planet. But it just pissed me off to see so many raving gay guys acting out the worst parts of the gay stereotype, socialising with only other campy guys and fag hags, and chatting about sex, dick sizes, ABBA, Kylie or drag queens. It annoys me so much.
Let me be clear, I'm not annoyed by someone being themselves. Far from it. My problem is that "these people" seem to have their entire lives revolve only around their sexuality. They are gay. So that means they only go to gay clubs, only have gay friends, only read gay magazines, only buy camp music, only check out gay websites, only go to gay gyms etc. It's like someone going "I can only go to straight clubs and read/watch straight media and hang out with straigh people and listen to straight music etc." because they're straight. Bollocks.
The sex thing pisses me off probably more than anything. For DECADES gay men have been associated with being rampantly promiscuis when it comes to their sex lives. No long term relationships, no meaningful partnerships, just sex, sex, sex, and then tak about it non stop. "But I'm gay so I can get away with it." Why? Because it's expected of you? If it was a straight girl she'd be labelled a slut. But gay men? Oh they're just gay.
This wouldn't bother me that much apart from the fact that I then get tarred with the same brush. I was flicking through "Boyz" magazine on the way back from London, and in the starsign section under Sagitarrius it read "You've been a good gay man recently and have been having lots of sex..." What? WHAT? The fact that you fuck around loads makes you a good gay?! Another article was talking about a new sauna that has opened. Of course, it's gay only. Meaning that the movies they show are only gay pornos, and there are plenty of dark rooms so you can have random sex with random people you don't know. The writer of the article concluded "We spent a couple of good hours in there getting to know several of the cuter patrons much better!" I don't understand how you can turn yourself into such a parody of everything negative about your sexuality.
Clubs are no better. Cliquey, self absorbed bollocks prevades through most, frowning and scorning on any straight man that enters through the doors and doesn't like having his ass pinched, or openly contempting anyone who's not part of the usual group that goes there. Plenty of clubs also have their own dark rooms for - you guessed it - more sex with strangers.
I just cannot understand how people can allow themselves to have the fact that they fancy men dominate their lives. How, because they are gay, they shun every other kind of culture and interest themselves only in the gay one. I don't understand it, I can't understand it. I have few gay friends for a reason: because I can't stand to be around most gay people. They're introverted, introspective, arrogant, rude, catty and hard work. The other reason I don't have many gay friends is because I avoid the gay scene like the plague. I've been there, done it and can't stand it. Every negative stereotype about gay people is portrayed and magnified. But not through parody. For real. Out of choice.
Make no mistake, I loathe narrow minded straight people who find the sight of two men kissing or holding hands something to be openly mocked or jeered at. I hate the stereotypes that they think apply to all gay people. I hate being thought of as a "different" kind of gay person because I'm not a flaming fag. I fuck men, that's it. It has no bearing on the rest of my life at all, and I hate that just because I am gay people expect it to. And it's primarily down the people I describe above who continue to bolster such stereotypes, but then get offended when anyone other than gay people use them. If you're going to live the stereotype, expect people to use it. Otherwise, do what most other minorites have done, and move on to living in the 21st century, not a 1960s Kenneth Williams flick. Ducky.